New York, where you been my whole life?

Life with an iPhone may rival Obama's presidency.

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Mama Mia...

[Watching "So You Think You Can Dance"]

Me: I wanna rewind so I can listen to that song.

Mom: Well, hurry up because I want to watch sex.

Me: Can you not ever say those words in that order again. So long as I am alive. Ever. Please.

Mom: What? I want to see that sex dance.

*Note: Sex is also a SYTYCD auditionee.

Yes.

I love my S'mother.

Mom: (gestures to lower back) I want to get a tattoo here.

Natasha: You know what that's called, right?

Mom: No.

Natasha: A tramp stamp.

Mom: Oh.

(Beat)
Natasha: Because that's where a tramp... would get a... a stamp.

Mom: Oh, man. I really wanted one there.

Natasha: Seriously?

Mom: Yeah.

Natasha: What would it to say?

Mom: "Tramp Stamp." That way there'd be no confusion.

I'm back bitches.